At what age do kids start to lie, and what cognitive abilities do they need to have in place in order to lie well? Mills: Let's start with an idea I just mentioned, which is that lying is a normal part of children's development. Victoria Talwar, PhD: Thank you for having me. Her book, The Truth About Lying: Teaching Honesty to Children at Every Age and Stage, was published by APA in July. She also studies issues related to children's eyewitness testimony in court, and kids’ and teens’ social interactions in cyberspace, including cyberbullyingg. Her research examines the cognitive, social, and cultural factors that affect children's lying, as well as how children understand the moral implications of lying and honesty. Victoria Talwar, a professor in the department of educational and counseling psychology at McGill University, where she studies children's truth-telling and lie-telling behavior. Welcome to Speaking of Psychology, the flagship podcast of the American Psychological Association that examines the links between psychological science and everyday life. So, why do kids lie, and how young does lying start? Do kids lie more than adults? How do children understand the morality of lying, and how does their understanding change as they get older? What kind of lies are normal for children? And when does lying become a problem? How do kids think about the gray areas of telling white lies, keeping secrets, and tattling? And how can parents encourage truth-telling and honesty in their children?
It's only possible once children have developed some self-control and the ability to understand another person's mental state. So, the first time that a parent catches a child in a lie, it may come as an unpleasant surprise, but psychological research has found that lying is a normal part of childhood. Honesty is a universally valued trait, and most parents want to raise their children to be honest. It's no surprise that these morality tales are so popular. Kim Mills: From Pinocchio, to The Boy Who Cried Wolf, many classic children's tales tell the stories of children who lie and get their comeuppance for it.
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